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  #11  
Old 07-23-2010, 02:11 PM
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lauren lauren is offline
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I read about Tomato staking in a book called " raising godly tomatoes " or somthing like that

I really want to try that with my youngest ... keep her with me so she can have my full attention but also so i can correct her if necessary !

I must admit i dont know a lot about attachment parenting . I do spank my kids and it is paying off but i do also agree that there are other ways of parenting and different techniques appeal to differnt parents
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  #12  
Old 07-23-2010, 07:51 PM
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Whitness for him- thats more along the lines of AP I was referring to as well.

Parenting has so many different styles & works differently from child to child, house to house. One of my best friends spanks her children as punishment. Both of us have lovely young children.
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  #13  
Old 07-23-2010, 11:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Rev21:4 View Post

May I gently suggest that it is slightly harsh to judge me and my children without having met us? It sounds like you have a problem with permissive parenting (I do as well); but its not the same thing.
I'm sorry. I've been a bit gritty lately and it wasn't fair for me to bring it out on you.
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  #14  
Old 07-24-2010, 08:09 PM
leissa leissa is offline
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here's the thing, AP might have worked with one of my kids,but the other two would have been like,"seriously?". my youngest son is so unbelievably strong willed,hard-headed and just plain tough, I would have been laughed out the house had I tried the gentle approach. I feel kids need the security of knowing mom is in charge and she's tougher than anything. I was raised old school, spankings and everything. and my parents weren't picky about what they used,either! my kids are very well behaved, independent, confident, and adventurous. we are also very affectionate and fun-loving but they know Mom is not their friend,she's the authority. It's a good balance for us,but some people think of me as the "mean mom".
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  #15  
Old 07-25-2010, 11:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leissa View Post
here's the thing, AP might have worked with one of my kids,but the other two would have been like,"seriously?". my youngest son is so unbelievably strong willed,hard-headed and just plain tough, I would have been laughed out the house had I tried the gentle approach. I feel kids need the security of knowing mom is in charge and she's tougher than anything. I was raised old school, spankings and everything. and my parents weren't picky about what they used,either! my kids are very well behaved, independent, confident, and adventurous. we are also very affectionate and fun-loving but they know Mom is not their friend,she's the authority. It's a good balance for us,but some people think of me as the "mean mom".
Sounds as if you know some of your kids need 'tough love'!
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  #16  
Old 07-26-2010, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leissa View Post
here's the thing, AP might have worked with one of my kids,but the other two would have been like,"seriously?". my youngest son is so unbelievably strong willed,hard-headed and just plain tough, I would have been laughed out the house had I tried the gentle approach. I feel kids need the security of knowing mom is in charge and she's tougher than anything. I was raised old school, spankings and everything. and my parents weren't picky about what they used,either! my kids are very well behaved, independent, confident, and adventurous. we are also very affectionate and fun-loving but they know Mom is not their friend,she's the authority. It's a good balance for us,but some people think of me as the "mean mom".
hmm Well I believe this is one main misconception about AP. I am by no means my daughters friend. I am her parent, disciplinarian and provider. Again I like how Dr. Sear's explains attachment parenting and the "strong-willed child"

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Attachment parenting helps you discipline the difficult child. This style of parenting is especially rewarding in disciplining kids we call high-need children. Sometimes parents don't realize until their child is three or four years of age that they have a special child who needs a special kind of discipline (for example, a hyperactive child, a developmentally delayed child, or a temperamentally difficult child). By helping you shape your child's behavior and increase your sensitivity to the child's special needs, attachment parenting gives you the right start that increases your chances of having the right finish. Connected parents have a headstart in disciplining high-need children because they are sensitive to their child's personality. The connected high-need child is easier to discipline because he is more responsive to his parents. One of the reasons temperamentally difficult children are difficult to discipline is they are disorganized. As we discussed earlier, attachment promotes organization. In fact, studies comparing the long-term effects of early parenting styles on a child's later development show that attachment parenting (or the lack of it) most affects the character trait of adaptability (the ease with which a child's behavior can be redirected to the child's and parents' advantage). Adaptable children are better prepared to adjust to life's changing circumstances. They learn to accept correction from others and eventually correct themselves. Some children are born puzzles. Attachment parenting helps you put the pieces together.

Attachment parenting encourages obedience. The real payoff of attachment parenting is obedience. To "obey" means "to listen attentively." This style of parenting, besides opening up parents to the needs of their baby, also opens up the baby to the wishes of the parents. The universal complaint of parents is "My child won't mind." Think about this term "to mind." What does it mean? As a child normally goes from dependence to independence and searches for an identity, the child minds his own mind. So, your child is minding, but he's minding his own mind and not yours. How compliant your child is depends upon your child's temperament, which you can't control, and the depth of your parent-child connection, which you can influence. Because your minds mesh, the connected child is more open to accept your redirection and switch from his mindset to yours and to listen to you instead of being closed to you. The connected child trusts that his mother knows best. The attached child wants to please.

Even the iron-willed child bends to the will of the mother or father who operate on the parenting principle "The stronger my child's will, the stronger must be my connection." It is this connection that gives parents confidence. Wanting to please and trying to obey are the behavioral trademarks of the connected child. Nancy, the mother of a high-need baby, now a strong-willed four-year-old volunteered: "Initially attachment parenting took more energy and was less convenient. Now caring for Jonathan is easier because discipline flows naturally between us. I'm finally beginning to cash in on my investment."
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  #17  
Old 07-27-2010, 04:20 PM
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Great article!
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  #18  
Old 08-04-2010, 04:17 PM
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Hello!
I adopt some practices common to AP parents in parenting infants- no CIO, breastfeeding on demand and child led weaning, sleep-sharing and baby-wearing, but I also practice grace based discipline, with the somewhat different understanding to you that it DOES involve spanking (from time to time, not always.)

I am a big believer in parenting from what God instructs in the Bible, and from our God-given instincts; also trusting God that He will reveal the heart of my individual children to me as I go along to help me out! So far for me on my journey, this is working out to be a balance that doesn't fit any one parenting philosophy or set of rules down to a 'tee'.
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  #19  
Old 08-10-2010, 12:10 AM
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That sounds very similar to the style parenting that my own parents used.
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her twin, Addison, who was born to Jesus 8-5-08
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  #20  
Old 08-10-2010, 09:49 AM
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That sounds like the parenting style I wish my own parents used!
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But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:14–17

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