Share This Forum!  
 
        
Go Back   Christian Parents Forum > Life At Home > Keeping Your Marriage Strong

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:02 AM
bluebell's Avatar
bluebell bluebell is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,336
Lightbulb SAHM or not

I mentioned again yesterday to my dh how i hoped that i could stay home with the children soon again as i dont like being away from them ,. he replied back that our youngest would soon start school so what would i do at home each day ....

He has a point i know .....he says i can do housework and cooking when the kids come home from school .

I guess i had not really thought through that soon my baby would be out of the house with her sisters for 6 hours a day so me staying at home would be a little pointless ......

As he says what is the point of me being home and the kids at school , i am just venting here a bit , i guess i had it in my head that me being at work is not a longterm plan but he wants me to work part time while they are at school which is fair enough ......

Im just a little sad that my youngest will be at school soon and me being at home with little ones is somewhat over ...
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:12 AM
WhispyWillow
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I think it's a personality preference and something that is very individual to each family.

I am a SAHM because my DH has a very unpredictable schedule-and they need some sense of continuity. DH is gone anywhere between 3-90 days.

If/when he comes home-I will WOH unless we homeschool.. Both of us were homeschooled- one got a decent education- but was way unprepared for real life, and the other was not educated at all, but endocrine red. So, we are pretty skeptical about homeschooling. :shifty
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:19 AM
bluebell's Avatar
bluebell bluebell is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,336
Default

I agree but my dh wants me to work the hours the kids are at school , like 930 - 2pm so i can drop and collect them .
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:42 AM
Vanna's Avatar
Vanna Vanna is offline
Staff
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,865
Lightbulb

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
I agree but my dh wants me to work the hours the kids are at school , like 930 - 2pm so i can drop and collect them .
That's a nice schedule, but what are your feelings about it? Maybe you could work just 3 out of the 5 days, having 2 of those days at home to take care of the house, cook, run errands?
__________________
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:49 AM
bluebell's Avatar
bluebell bluebell is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,336
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanna View Post
That's a nice schedule, but what are your feelings about it? Maybe you could work just 3 out of the 5 days, having 2 of those days at home to take care of the house, cook, run errands?
Thanks Vanna .

First i would have to see if i can even get those hours and then i would need to look at the School holidays and Summer holidays and what would work then .

I want some time off to be honest , i love being home with the kids and would love to spend this Summer home with them .

3 days would be perfect , even three full days and 4 full days at home would be nicer then working everyday .
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:17 PM
KRD's Avatar
KRD KRD is offline
Staff
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,352
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
Thanks Vanna .

First i would have to see if i can even get those hours and then i would need to look at the School holidays and Summer holidays and what would work then .

I want some time off to be honest , i love being home with the kids and would love to spend this Summer home with them .

3 days would be perfect , even three full days and 4 full days at home would be nicer then working everyday .
Our daughter goes to school in May so I have a number of people ask when I am going back to work so I have been thinking about this one. DH and I have no plans for me to go back to work at present. Even prior to our son being born I had dropped my days down to 4 days a week.

Not working enables me to be organised at home without being stressed about it, be there for the kids when they need it (holidays, sick days and school events), last year and hopefully this year I have been able to parent help at school, also occasionally I go and have lunch with DH when the kids are at school/Kindy. Once R is at school I am hoping to get a few projects completed around the home and my garden sorted also perhaps get more involved in the community.

My response to anyone who asks is that any job I would do would have to be 9:30 to 2:30 not everyday, with school holidays off and the capability to work from home if I have a sick child. Not many such jobs. My DH response is that my job is wife and mum.

It is summer holidays here and we have several friends where they have both worked all summer and the kids have been either hangout with one parent while the other worked, going to work with the parent and having to quietly entertain themselves. The kids would prefer school to this is the impression they are giving. Also the parents are stressed about working it all out and have used up all their annual leave without getting an actual holiday. While the kids and I have had a really enjoyable summer holidays with a mix of hangout at home and going on holiday.

Hope you can find a balance.
__________________
Kathryn

SAHM to two school kids A (9.5) and R (7.5)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:59 PM
whitnessforhim's Avatar
whitnessforhim whitnessforhim is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,862
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KRD View Post
Our daughter goes to school in May so I have a number of people ask when I am going back to work so I have been thinking about this one. DH and I have no plans for me to go back to work at present. Even prior to our son being born I had dropped my days down to 4 days a week.

Not working enables me to be organised at home without being stressed about it, be there for the kids when they need it (holidays, sick days and school events), last year and hopefully this year I have been able to parent help at school, also occasionally I go and have lunch with DH when the kids are at school/Kindy. Once R is at school I am hoping to get a few projects completed around the home and my garden sorted also perhaps get more involved in the community.

My response to anyone who asks is that any job I would do would have to be 9:30 to 2:30 not everyday, with school holidays off and the capability to work from home if I have a sick child. Not many such jobs. My DH response is that my job is wife and mum.

It is summer holidays here and we have several friends where they have both worked all summer and the kids have been either hangout with one parent while the other worked, going to work with the parent and having to quietly entertain themselves. The kids would prefer school to this is the impression they are giving. Also the parents are stressed about working it all out and have used up all their annual leave without getting an actual holiday. While the kids and I have had a really enjoyable summer holidays with a mix of hangout at home and going on holiday.

Hope you can find a balance.
I agree with this. I would ask your husband, Lauren, to seriously think about (and pray about this) how difficult it is on you to clean house, prepare dinner AND give enough attention to your kids when you've been working all day? Has your DH ever stayed home and palyed housewife, I'm just curious? If there was one blessing that came out of the situation DH and I were in (basically our roles were reversed. I worked he was unemployed. Not by choice) I would say it was that DH got a taste of how difficult it is to be a SAHP. The only thing he could manage to do was keep the kids alive Even without the kids there you have a ton of things that need to be done. I worked part-time for a while once DH started working and the house still suffered for it. I am a firm believer that moms should be home because this is the most important job there is IMO.
__________________
But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:14–17

Click the image to open in full size.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:04 PM
bluebell's Avatar
bluebell bluebell is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,336
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KRD View Post
Our daughter goes to school in May so I have a number of people ask when I am going back to work so I have been thinking about this one. DH and I have no plans for me to go back to work at present. Even prior to our son being born I had dropped my days down to 4 days a week.

Not working enables me to be organised at home without being stressed about it, be there for the kids when they need it (holidays, sick days and school events), last year and hopefully this year I have been able to parent help at school, also occasionally I go and have lunch with DH when the kids are at school/Kindy. Once R is at school I am hoping to get a few projects completed around the home and my garden sorted also perhaps get more involved in the community.

My response to anyone who asks is that any job I would do would have to be 9:30 to 2:30 not everyday, with school holidays off and the capability to work from home if I have a sick child. Not many such jobs. My DH response is that my job is wife and mum.

It is summer holidays here and we have several friends where they have both worked all summer and the kids have been either hangout with one parent while the other worked, going to work with the parent and having to quietly entertain themselves. The kids would prefer school to this is the impression they are giving. Also the parents are stressed about working it all out and have used up all their annual leave without getting an actual holiday. While the kids and I have had a really enjoyable summer holidays with a mix of hangout at home and going on holiday.

Hope you can find a balance.
Thanks Katryn for your imput .

I guess i am sad that my days at home with the little ones is kind of over as in they will all be at school .

I have no problem going back to work as such , i cant really see my husband go to work each day and me stay home for 6 hours with kids at school , that would not be fair for us but i guess i would like to be home holidays etc ...

I will need to find a babysitter for the holidays which should be easy enough to find another mum willing to take them when i work and they get extra money etc ...

We will see what happens .
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:06 PM
bluebell's Avatar
bluebell bluebell is offline
CPF Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,336
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by whitnessforhim View Post
I agree with this. I would ask your husband, Lauren, to seriously think about (and pray about this) how difficult it is on you to clean house, prepare dinner AND give enough attention to your kids when you've been working all day? Has your DH ever stayed home and palyed housewife, I'm just curious? If there was one blessing that came out of the situation DH and I were in (basically our roles were reversed. I worked he was unemployed. Not by choice) I would say it was that DH got a taste of how difficult it is to be a SAHP. The only thing he could manage to do was keep the kids alive Even without the kids there you have a ton of things that need to be done. I worked part-time for a while once DH started working and the house still suffered for it. I am a firm believer that moms should be home because this is the most important job there is IMO.
I agree Whit but we dont homeschool so the kids are gone a lot of day and he would like to me to work those hours .

But no he has never played housewife or made dinner etc ....he has never had the house and all the girls for even one day himself
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-26-2013, 07:26 PM
memoriesmama's Avatar
memoriesmama memoriesmama is offline
Hospitality Team
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northern MI
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,659
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by whitnessforhim View Post
I agree with this. I would ask your husband, Lauren, to seriously think about (and pray about this) how difficult it is on you to clean house, prepare dinner AND give enough attention to your kids when you've been working all day? Has your DH ever stayed home and palyed housewife, I'm just curious? If there was one blessing that came out of the situation DH and I were in (basically our roles were reversed. I worked he was unemployed. Not by choice) I would say it was that DH got a taste of how difficult it is to be a SAHP. The only thing he could manage to do was keep the kids alive Even without the kids there you have a ton of things that need to be done. I worked part-time for a while once DH started working and the house still suffered for it. I am a firm believer that moms should be home because this is the most important job there is IMO.


Even if you aren't homeschooling, you will still have plenty to do. My DH used to say that I would always work. I ended up taking 1 year off of teaching and the plan was to go back, but then he realized how much I wouldn't be doing if I was working full-time (making his breakfast, packing his lunch, dinner ready when he got home) and the work he would have to help with if I was working (helping with laundry, cleaning, etc.) and then he decided it was better for me to stay home. Besides that, we were saving money by me not going to work (transportation, work clothes, etc.).
__________________
Darcy in MI
Help Meet to Chad
Blessed to be a mama to 11 girls & one handsome boy!
Click the image to open in full size.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:56 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2007 Christian Parents Forum All Rights ReservedAd Management plugin by RedTyger