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  #11  
Old 10-15-2012, 08:52 AM
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memoriesmama memoriesmama is offline
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I look at this differently. Maybe it's because I'm a morning person or maybe it's because I've learned a few things after 14 years of marriage.

I am the type of person who accomplishes much more in the morning so I prefer to get up early and get things done. Not much of anything gets done after 4 pm around here (except the necessities).

I've learned over the years to just "bite the bullet" and stay up later on occasion to spend time with my husband. Am I tired quite often--yes, but there are less problems if I give him the time he needs. Besides, because I am home, I will take a nap in the afternoon when the little ones are napping if I need to get more sleep. In fact, since I switched to doing that, more gets accomplished in the afternoons/evenings because of that "pick me up" from the nap.

I agree that it is something that should be discussed and a few ideas tried, but I also think it is an issue where ultimately submission is the answer. It might take a while to find a solution that works for everyone (it took us over 10 years!), but don't give up.
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  #12  
Old 10-18-2012, 03:38 PM
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Why is it necessary to get dressed if you're at home?

We wear "home clothes" at home...
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  #13  
Old 10-18-2012, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by llamallamaduck View Post
Why is it necessary to get dressed if you're at home?

We wear "home clothes" at home...
I know for me, I accomplish so much more during the day if I am dressed. Also, you never know who is going to stop by and we should be dressed if needed.
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2012, 04:41 PM
SAHMwifeNmama SAHMwifeNmama is offline
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I used to just stay in 'whatever' clothes all day, but I'd also be lazy. I recently joined this site called Flylady that encourages daily changes in habits for the sake of keeping the house neat and one of the first "baby steps" she talks about it getting dressed for the day and I find that I've been doing it I'm much more productive and take my day more seriously. I figure this is the reason women wore aprons in the 50s, it might sound old fashioned but it was a way to keep their clothes clean yet also be able to just rip it off in a second and look nice.

As far as the rest of my 'morning routine', ideally I wake up when my husband does or soon after. Either I have his lunch made the night before or I make it quickly while he's still getting ready. I make the bed, do toiletries (sp?) and get dressed, do a quick pick-up, shine my sink (just hot water and papertowels on a daily basis), and then when our toddler wakes I do her routine (changing/feeding) and by 10:00 my house looks fairly neat.

I realize all schedules are subject to change, but if I ignore any sense of routine my life (and house) falls apart. I'm the kind of person that needs structure and the extra hour or so in the morning really helps boost me for the rest of the day.
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  #15  
Old 10-18-2012, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by llamallamaduck View Post
Why is it necessary to get dressed if you're at home?

We wear "home clothes" at home...
I also have to get dressed if I hope to accomplish anything.

Plus MM homeschools, so getting dressed is probably essencial for that
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  #16  
Old 10-18-2012, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by emily445455 View Post
I also have to get dressed if I hope to accomplish anything.

Plus MM homeschools, so getting dressed is probably essencial for that
That's interesting. It is probably a cultural thing. We don't homeschool (I wish we did!), but we do have "Russian school" almost every day where I do Russian grammar, literature, and history with the girls. We are all in our comfy home clothes They change as soon as they get home.

Probably this tradition grew out of a desire to keep clothes nice and new as long as possible, but I like it.

Flylady horrifies me. Wearing SHOES at home?! I have slippers for guests!
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  #17  
Old 10-18-2012, 09:14 PM
SAHMwifeNmama SAHMwifeNmama is offline
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Yeah, I dont wear shoes at home either but theres still a lot of good to be said for flylady in my estimate, it has helped me get my life together in the 'home economics' department.
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  #18  
Old 10-18-2012, 11:36 PM
Michelleld Michelleld is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by memoriesmama View Post
I look at this differently. Maybe it's because I'm a morning person or maybe it's because I've learned a few things after 14 years of marriage.

I am the type of person who accomplishes much more in the morning so I prefer to get up early and get things done. Not much of anything gets done after 4 pm around here (except the necessities).

I've learned over the years to just "bite the bullet" and stay up later on occasion to spend time with my husband. Am I tired quite often--yes, but there are less problems if I give him the time he needs. Besides, because I am home, I will take a nap in the afternoon when the little ones are napping if I need to get more sleep. In fact, since I switched to doing that, more gets accomplished in the afternoons/evenings because of that "pick me up" from the nap.

I agree that it is something that should be discussed and a few ideas tried, but I also think it is an issue where ultimately submission is the answer. It might take a while to find a solution that works for everyone (it took us over 10 years!), but don't give up.


I agree with this. Ultimately we are called to be in submission to our husbands. This doesn't mean they "lord over us" but if this is something that is important to him then you need to find a way to satisfy that. Having your kids stay in their room later is a good idea, maybe even be strict that they can get up but not disturb daddy at all until you are there? (Not sure how to go about that without minimizing respect or love for daddy?).

I am so not a morning person either! One thing I sometimes do is make myself get "dressed and ready" and then sit down to "wake up". It takes a little more mental effort but if you can get through that half asleep (routine) then you have whatever time is left over to relax (depending on what time you get up the is a little to a lot). I also like to be ready before Anna gets up. I just think it makes my morning go more smoothly.
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  #19  
Old 10-18-2012, 11:38 PM
SAHMwifeNmama SAHMwifeNmama is offline
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While I advocate respecting husbands (I'm a complementarian), I dont think that means that I need to shove the kids under the rug. Maybe they can do quiet activities, but I do not believe in the old addage 'kids should be seen and not heard'. I admire you for wanting to get up with the hubby, it is hard but I know it means a lot to men to know there wife is there for them. I used to sleep in all the time in our first year of marriage and now I see the folly of that. I'm glad I try to get up with him the majority of the time. I see that it means a lot to him and that it helps jumpstart my day as well.
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  #20  
Old 10-19-2012, 12:25 AM
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Oh wow. I feel for you.

I'm not a morning person either, but my kids don't get the memo.

In my house my husband prefers a family breakfast together before he goes to work. So I 'rise when it's dark' and get straight into my outdoor chores (taking a load to the laundry and feeding the chickens). Then I head back upstairs to get the kids dressed (who have to stay in their room till I come, but that's 15 minutes or so) and start breakfast. Half an hour later I rouse my husband, we eat, and he goes to work.

I can't stand alarm clocks either. I've tried being woken 15 minutes before I need to get up, to read to wake myself up etc. But I've just found that waking up DOES NOT happen in bed. I have to jump straight out and get going or I'm in a fog for a long time.

It has taken me some time to get used to that, and also to putting myself to bed earlier (though as a rule I try to always go to bed with my DH), but now I'm used to it, I really enjoy sitting with my family once I'm done running about getting things done. That beautiful morning coffee once I've done my chores and made breakfast is so so much tastier

In your situation, I would say there is room for compromise from both quarters. If I were in your shoes, I would try to meet his needs, but ask for considerable input in ideas to make it happen, as it's a tall order I think!
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