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  #1  
Old 08-28-2012, 02:47 PM
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MagicBananas MagicBananas is offline
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Default Frustrated

I feel like I don't get any help at home.
When we both worked it was pretty even but now it's all me, he won't even pick up after himself.
Clothes on the bathroom floor, cups and stuff in the room, trash on the floor.

I am sitting in the middle of three loads of laundry that I haven't felt like folding because it feels like it never ends.

I have to be at work at 2 today and luckily I just have to go in for two hours but I want to get things picked up a little but I have no motivation, I just want to leave it till he helps me out with it.

I have some sort of wicked chest infection and have to ride my bike to work today because he uses my car for work. It's just frustrating because I really want my car or a ride to work, I don't want to bike while breathing like darth vader underwater.

I am going to get the laundry at least folded, the dishes out of the room and the trash picked up but I have like 15 minutes before I really start to need to get ready, I still have to shower, do my hair and make-up and pick out an outfit for work, (its at a clothing store).

Do you get help at home?
I wish the dog had thumbs right now.....
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  #2  
Old 08-28-2012, 03:20 PM
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emily445455 emily445455 is online now
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Originally Posted by MagicBananas View Post
I wish the dog had thumbs right now.....
Haha, I'll often tell my dogs they need to earn their keep...they don't listen to me

It can be frustrating, I know. Over time, I've become less frustrated though. I've realized, and continue to realize, that is just how my husband is. He is 34 years old, I am not going to change his habits, so I may as well just deal with them and not get upset over them. Getting upset over them only makes me angry and bitter, which leads to nagging, which leads to a not so fun marriage. So, I choose to just get over it He's similar to your b/f, clothes on the floor, dishes left in the living room, kleenex everywhere, empty pop cans everywhere, etc. Getting over it and just cleaning it up makes me a happier person, thus he is happier, thus our marriage is happier I'll sometimes ask him to help, which he will do for me...especially right now since I am pregnant. But asking cannot turn into nagging, that is never a good thing.

I believe women (wives) are called to be keepers of their homes, which includes doing a majority of the housework. Doesn't mean they can't work, just means their primary job is keeping things at home running smoothly. I am not the best housekeeper...at all! I struggle with it almost daily, but I try and my hubby knows that. This also doesn't mean men can't help out with housework, but their calling by God is to provide for their families, this is their primary job. When God softened my heart to this concept in Scripture, I also became a happier person in general
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  #3  
Old 08-28-2012, 04:21 PM
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MagicBananas MagicBananas is offline
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Originally Posted by emily445455 View Post
Haha, I'll often tell my dogs they need to earn their keep...they don't listen to me

It can be frustrating, I know. Over time, I've become less frustrated though. I've realized, and continue to realize, that is just how my husband is. He is 34 years old, I am not going to change his habits, so I may as well just deal with them and not get upset over them. Getting upset over them only makes me angry and bitter, which leads to nagging, which leads to a not so fun marriage. So, I choose to just get over it He's similar to your b/f, clothes on the floor, dishes left in the living room, kleenex everywhere, empty pop cans everywhere, etc. Getting over it and just cleaning it up makes me a happier person, thus he is happier, thus our marriage is happier I'll sometimes ask him to help, which he will do for me...especially right now since I am pregnant. But asking cannot turn into nagging, that is never a good thing.

I believe women (wives) are called to be keepers of their homes, which includes doing a majority of the housework. Doesn't mean they can't work, just means their primary job is keeping things at home running smoothly. I am not the best housekeeper...at all! I struggle with it almost daily, but I try and my hubby knows that. This also doesn't mean men can't help out with housework, but their calling by God is to provide for their families, this is their primary job. When God softened my heart to this concept in Scripture, I also became a happier person in general
We're a very 50/50 family. I won't be bringing in as much as him but that doesn't really matter but I will be working close to what he works. So I hope things even out in the cleaning department.

We share duties doing everything, or used to before he started working overtime, we'd cook together (he'd grill or I would) and we'd clean up together, he never really has been big on laundry but there is a trash can in our room, i don't have the best of aim but I could hit it something from where I am sitting its that close, he EASILY could put his soda cans in there.
There is a hamper outside of our bathroom, he could easily put his clothes into there. There is a hamper in the closet too. It's like living with a teenage boy.

I need a spray bottle....bad (insert his name here) bottle and when he changes after work and leaves them on the floor *squirt*, when he leaves dishes in room *squirt*...

I am only half kidding.
He said it would even out once I started working more but still he doesn't have to help much, just quit making it so hard.
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Old 08-28-2012, 04:36 PM
maryrose maryrose is offline
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How about making lists for chores like you would for children?

magic bananas: cleaning the kitchen mon-wed-friday- cooking this day and this day.
boyfriend:cleaning the bathroom tues-thurd-sat - cooking this day and this day -

laundry one week each. dishes whoever didn't cook

you get my point
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Old 08-28-2012, 04:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicBananas View Post
We're a very 50/50 family. I won't be bringing in as much as him but that doesn't really matter but I will be working close to what he works. So I hope things even out in the cleaning department.

We share duties doing everything, or used to before he started working overtime, we'd cook together (he'd grill or I would) and we'd clean up together, he never really has been big on laundry but there is a trash can in our room, i don't have the best of aim but I could hit it something from where I am sitting its that close, he EASILY could put his soda cans in there.
There is a hamper outside of our bathroom, he could easily put his clothes into there. There is a hamper in the closet too. It's like living with a teenage boy.

I need a spray bottle....bad (insert his name here) bottle and when he changes after work and leaves them on the floor *squirt*, when he leaves dishes in room *squirt*...

I am only half kidding.
He said it would even out once I started working more but still he doesn't have to help much, just quit making it so hard.
Men dont always the same mess we women see , my DH does not anyway , he doesnt notice a washed floor or a vacumed house ....

I get up early and do all the household stuff in 2 hours , washing floors , dishes , dinner preap , vacum etc ....that is my role in this house even when i am working full time i take on the bulk of the housework .
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Old 08-28-2012, 06:51 PM
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KRD KRD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryrose View Post
How about making lists for chores like you would for children?

magic bananas: cleaning the kitchen mon-wed-friday- cooking this day and this day.
boyfriend:cleaning the bathroom tues-thurd-sat - cooking this day and this day -

laundry one week each. dishes whoever didn't cook

you get my point
When we first got married and we were both working full time. We would spend a couple of hours on a saturday doing chores. He would vacuum and tidy. I would clean the bathrooms and kitchen. I did the cooking but he helped clean up. But before this would happen we had to discuss it. Previously he would have vacuum about once a month but he had to be told that it was important to me that it was done once a week and then he was on board.

Now I do the bulk of the house work but he does still vacuum on the weekends.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:22 PM
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emily445455 emily445455 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicBananas View Post
We're a very 50/50 family. I won't be bringing in as much as him but that doesn't really matter but I will be working close to what he works. So I hope things even out in the cleaning department.

We share duties doing everything, or used to before he started working overtime, we'd cook together (he'd grill or I would) and we'd clean up together, he never really has been big on laundry but there is a trash can in our room, i don't have the best of aim but I could hit it something from where I am sitting its that close, he EASILY could put his soda cans in there.
There is a hamper outside of our bathroom, he could easily put his clothes into there. There is a hamper in the closet too. It's like living with a teenage boy.


I need a spray bottle....bad (insert his name here) bottle and when he changes after work and leaves them on the floor *squirt*, when he leaves dishes in room *squirt*...

I am only half kidding.
He said it would even out once I started working more but still he doesn't have to help much, just quit making it so hard.
Oh I know, I have chosen to not be upset of bitter over this, it makes me into an angry person...I choose to just get over it and clean it up
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  #8  
Old 08-29-2012, 12:25 AM
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MagicBananas MagicBananas is offline
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Originally Posted by emily445455 View Post
Oh I know, I have chosen to not be upset of bitter over this, it makes me into an angry person...I choose to just get over it and clean it up
I think I'll just use the spray bottle
HAHA I kid.
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  #9  
Old 08-31-2012, 09:44 AM
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memoriesmama memoriesmama is offline
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I know you won't like my response to this, but I am saying it out of love. I think a lot of issues would be cleared up if you either didn't live together before marriage or got married. The relationship and the "work" needed to be done is completely different for a married couple, IMHO.
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Old 08-31-2012, 11:46 AM
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cheeriokeeper cheeriokeeper is offline
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I know you won't like my response to this, but I am saying it out of love. I think a lot of issues would be cleared up if you either didn't live together before marriage or got married. The relationship and the "work" needed to be done is completely different for a married couple, IMHO.
i have to agree with mm.
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