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  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:49 AM
WhispyWillow
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Default What does it mean to be the "spiritual leader"

I have seen a couple ladies say that their husbands don't do this..

What types of things do you want a spiritual leader to do?

In your mind-what's the ideal situation afa spiritual growth in the family.

What aspect of leadership do you expect to take on?

Just curious.
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  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 06:07 AM
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To uphold the word of God
To ensure his children are being raised according to the gospel
To be a leader for his family setting a godly example of Christ in our home .

The husband should be the head of his family , his family are under his guidance in everything including decisions so he should act as our spiritual leader and capable to help his wife in times when she maybe struggling spiritaully and to guide his children in the ways of the Lord .

In other words like the pastor is head of his flock the husband and father should be head of his family in all ways including spiritually . My take anyway
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  #3  
Old 01-26-2013, 07:05 AM
WhispyWillow
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
To uphold the word of God
To ensure his children are being raised according to the gospel
To be a leader for his family setting a godly example of Christ in our home .

The husband should be the head of his family , his family are under his guidance in everything including decisions so he should act as our spiritual leader and capable to help his wife in times when she maybe struggling spiritaully and to guide his children in the ways of the Lord .

In other words like the pastor is head of his flock the husband and father should be head of his family in all ways including spiritually . My take anyway
I guess I was looking for more specifics.. Such as:

What is an action that proves that a DH is upholding the word of God?

What actions should he be doing to ensure that his kids are raised in he Gospel?

Are you looking for someone to actively tell you to read the bible, where/what to read, and explain the application?

With the pastor to flock image.. Is there a desire to have him preach? Lead daily devotions? Call you on sin issues?

When he is struggling spiritually does the wife have the same responsibility to uphold him in his time of need? Does she have the responsibility to "fill in" when he is unable to?

What is the wife's role in the spiritual training and teaching in the household?
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Old 01-26-2013, 07:32 AM
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Read the gospel to his family
Insure that the children are being raised by biblical standards , how the dress , how they speak , their actions , their behavouir , do they know the word of God , are they educated on different beliefs , do they know our family standards , our rules , is he disciplining them biblically , do they have a heart for God , off course we are both in this together but he is head of the home so he should be leading the children and me by the standards we have decided for our family .

Yes he should be willing to bring to attention any areas that he may feel i am lacking in or bringing any sin he feels is in my life to my attention and helping me address it .

He should set the standards for our family as a whole , he should make the final decisions , i am the homemake and helpmeet , i am not the leader in any way nor do i want to be , he leads our family and we follow .

No i do not have the responsibity to take over , certainly not , i will help him , pray with him , encourage him but i will not take his place as the leader of our home , it is not where God needs me to be unless he is bringing sin into our home or allowing our children to act in ungodly ways ( dress , tv , actions etc ) ....i do not submit to anything that is unbiblical he may ask or want me to do , i submit to him so long as he is living his life as a man of God and following the gospel , if he strays off that path i do not follow .

I teach our children the word of God , i uphold the standards set by God and my husband for me and my children but my dh should be the final authority and leader in our home that is his role and job given to him by God , it is not my place or role i have my own role as wife and helpmeet , he has his role as father and head of the home

We are still a work in progress however .
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  #5  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:25 PM
WhispyWillow
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One other question-

Was this something you (and not just Lauren, but the general you) talked about before getting married? Did you set the same standards before you got married?

Knowing my DH, he would totally shut down and be unable to function if he bore the responsibility for the list of stuff above.

We discussed it before marriage, but didnt really understand the dynamics that we would face.

We kindof both do all the stuff Lauren mentioned in her post.
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
To uphold the word of God
To ensure his children are being raised according to the gospel
To be a leader for his family setting a godly example of Christ in our home .

The husband should be the head of his family , his family are under his guidance in everything including decisions so he should act as our spiritual leader and capable to help his wife in times when she maybe struggling spiritaully and to guide his children in the ways of the Lord .

In other words like the pastor is head of his flock the husband and father should be head of his family in all ways including spiritually . My take anyway
I think it looks different for every family, probably because not all men are the same. Some are more the pastory-leadership type by nature, and others are more laid back & submissive in nature. I think it's important for the wife to allow him to lead however he does it...not critize him for not doing daily devotions with the family or not praying enough for example.
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Old 01-28-2013, 01:44 AM
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Originally Posted by emily445455 View Post
I think it looks different for every family, probably because not all men are the same. Some are more the pastory-leadership type by nature, and others are more laid back & submissive in nature. I think it's important for the wife to allow him to lead however he does it...not critize him for not doing daily devotions with the family or not praying enough for example.
I agree with this and think that more often than not we get in the way of men's spiritual growth because we so badly want to make them into the spiritual leader we think they should be instead of trusting that God will correct/fix/make them into what He wants him to be, at the right time.

I also think by criticizing or even having negative thoughts towards our husbands for what we think they lack actually sends men in the opposite direction then what we would like them to go. Focus on the possitives and be verbal about expressing your approval. This will do more than anything for them.

I remember having a talk once with my DH about him serving in our church in some kind of ministry. I felt strongly that this is what people do when they are believers, they serve. He looked at me and said (he was unemployed at the time): "how can I commit and serve in another ministry when I can't even provide for my ministry here, at home?" We as women often see things our own way and don't stop to think that we can't read our men's minds. How do we know they aren't praying for God's guidance in this area and just don't know how to be a spiritual leader, yet? How do we know that there aren't hurtles in their own hearts that they are personally working through in order to become what we need? We don't know that but as women we often times what to assume our men aren't doing and aren't willing to do what we think they should do as men.

Our men need to be lifted up, even when we don't feel like it. They don't need women standing in their place. That's my opinion.
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But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:14–17

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  #8  
Old 01-28-2013, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by whitnessforhim View Post
I agree with this and think that more often than not we get in the way of men's spiritual growth because we so badly want to make them into the spiritual leader we think they should be instead of trusting that God will correct/fix/make them into what He wants him to be, at the right time.

I also think by criticizing or even having negative thoughts towards our husbands for what we think they lack actually sends men in the opposite direction then what we would like them to go. Focus on the possitives and be verbal about expressing your approval. This will do more than anything for them.

I remember having a talk once with my DH about him serving in our church in some kind of ministry. I felt strongly that this is what people do when they are believers, they serve. He looked at me and said (he was unemployed at the time): "how can I commit and serve in another ministry when I can't even provide for my ministry here, at home?" We as women often see things our own way and don't stop to think that we can't read our men's minds. How do we know they aren't praying for God's guidance in this area and just don't know how to be a spiritual leader, yet? How do we know that there aren't hurtles in their own hearts that they are personally working through in order to become what we need? We don't know that but as women we often times what to assume our men aren't doing and aren't willing to do what we think they should do as men.

Our men need to be lifted up, even when we don't feel like it. They don't need women standing in their place. That's my opinion.
I can't speak for anyone else but, I never critize my dh about what he doesn't do. I drop gentle reminders at certain time but, that is all. I know where my dh is lacking because he and I communicate and he tells me himself. I don't know about other hubbys but since my is hispanic I can speak for him and us and I can tell you that most spanish men are very dependant on their wives and mommies. They are so used to having things done for them they can't do for themselves. My mother in law would make my dh's bed every morning and iron his clothes until he was 27 (when we moved out). She would serve him and not allow him to lift a finger because he was a man and a man's place was to work and come home to do nothing.

So many spanish men tend to me lazy when it comes to spiritual things as they expect their wives to do it for them. They dictate and wives do. Its a huge problem in the spanish churches which is why most of them are filled with women. I am saying your dh operates like this but, most do.

Many complaints of hispanic women in the church is the same thing. I need him to be the head of the house. To led us into prayer. I want him to be the first one up praying and interceeding for his family. Im tried of him depending or asking me to do so.
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Old 01-28-2013, 04:53 PM
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I can't speak for anyone else but, I never critize my dh about what he doesn't do. I drop gentle reminders at certain time but, that is all. I know where my dh is lacking because he and I communicate and he tells me himself. I don't know about other hubbys but since my is hispanic I can speak for him and us and I can tell you that most spanish men are very dependant on their wives and mommies. They are so used to having things done for them they can't do for themselves. My mother in law would make my dh's bed every morning and iron his clothes until he was 27 (when we moved out). She would serve him and not allow him to lift a finger because he was a man and a man's place was to work and come home to do nothing.

So many spanish men tend to me lazy when it comes to spiritual things as they expect their wives to do it for them. They dictate and wives do. Its a huge problem in the spanish churches which is why most of them are filled with women. I am saying your dh operates like this but, most do.

Many complaints of hispanic women in the church is the same thing. I need him to be the head of the house. To led us into prayer. I want him to be the first one up praying and interceeding for his family. Im tried of him depending or asking me to do so.
My DH grew up with somewhat like this. But I think this is exactly my point. MOST men never learn what it's like to be a spiritual leader because in one way or another it is never modeled for them. So sad because it does become an issue in marriage. Reminders are great!

I didn't mean to imply you were criticizing.
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But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:14–17

Click the image to open in full size.
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  #10  
Old 01-28-2013, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by whitnessforhim View Post
My DH grew up with somewhat like this. But I think this is exactly my point. MOST men never learn what it's like to be a spiritual leader because in one way or another it is never modeled for them. So sad because it does become an issue in marriage. Reminders are great!

I didn't mean to imply you were criticizing.
Most men NEVER learn and it is indeed sad. Especially in the spanish culture. It makes me so upset to see that within the church! Hispanic men tend to see it as a sign of weakness.

More buddy systems are need and accountability and prayer partners.
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Proud Army Wife! Hooah!
Mom_of_3_blessings Army Strong- 08/04
DD we lovingly call her Mimi - 02/01
DS1 we lovingly call him Papote- 01/06
DS 2 we lovingly call Spanky - 09/11
My heart - 06/10 - Our 4 legged son

I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength!

Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself but because it contradicts them.

האל ספק שלי
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