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  #11  
Old 08-28-2012, 04:15 PM
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MagicBananas MagicBananas is offline
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Originally Posted by lauren View Post
I dont care what was wrong with me as a teenager , i knew full well not to talk back or act with an attitude because my mother sure was not going to take it.

Sounds like he is testing the boundaries .....JMO
Some parents even take bad moods as disrespectful and having an attitude.
Some days I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to be bothered, I just wanted to be left alone, I didn't feel like smiling or being happy and I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and work through my mood.

My mom would get so worked over how I was being towards her, she made it all about yourself and it would turn into full blown arguments with her because she had to make it about her, she was the victim of me being upset by something and she would sit there and say what did I do to you?

I would sit there till I was blue in the face, near tears, yelling that it wasn't about her it had nothing to do with her and that I just wanted to be left alone and that it wasn't until she started her drama that SHE did actually start making my mood worse.

I'd even tell her what was bothering me and that she wasn't even part of it.

It went to crazy levels of stupid because she just loved to play the victim anywhere she could and exacerbate the issue.


She'd get angry over me not wanting to go out to dinner with everyone. I would be in a bad mood over something in my social life, I wouldn't feel like going out, I didn't want to have to go through the hassle of finding something to wear because usually when I was in a bad mood everything made me feel fat or ugly and I haven't even been either and I was easily old enough to stay home alone, I was like 15 or so and just wanted to make something easy, crawl in bed, eat my food, watch tv and go to sleep.
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  #12  
Old 08-29-2012, 07:35 AM
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Teenagers are children , if you still depend on me for food , shelter and everything else i want respect and obedience always ...if you come to me and ask me for some privacy or some alone time i will understand , if you want to talk i am always here open 24 /7 ! If you are down and upset i will do everything i can to help you because no one loves you more then your mom and dad .

I wont tolerate back chat or disrespect and i would be doing you no favors treating you with "kid gloves" ....no one else will , your teachers wont and nor will your boss or husband some day so i have no desire for you to pick up nasty habits that you may drag into adulthood .

Me and my kids will have issues that i am certain off , they may not like me asking them to dress modest or eat good healthy food over junk or not allow them to watch every show on tv ...but that is ok cause i am their parent and there is more years in a persons live then the short teenage years .

I have no desire to make my kids self involved human beings who think their feelings are all that matters or that they know everything ...

Bottom line we are family , we respect one another and we live to please the Lord ...all of us me and daddy included .......

It is all about what you tolerate and i wont be tolerating much
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  #13  
Old 08-31-2012, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
I dont care what was wrong with me as a teenager , i knew full well not to talk back or act with an attitude because my mother sure was not going to take it.

Sounds like he is testing the boundaries .....JMO
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  #14  
Old 09-01-2012, 07:30 PM
Debbie Debbie is offline
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Absolutely no disrespect intended, but I think my Dr. would laugh me right out of the office if I brought my teenage son in because he rolls his eyes at me!!!
None of what he does is any different than every other teen out there-I just was wondering if anyone had any specific tips on specific kinds of discipline for this. Totally agree with those who pushed the talking. We do that a lot and he is very open with me. He's just a a normal boy with a lot of hormones and a strong personality who is trying to assert his independence and test the waters!
I just need some new thoughts for when I do have to discipline(not punish) him, like time outs when they were little!
Thanks
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  #15  
Old 09-02-2012, 06:18 PM
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I agree with MagicBannanas for the most part...

The way I'd say it is that your son needs to feel understood and heard. If you care for his heart by really showing concern for his opinion, he'll be more likely to abide by your decision in the end - because you cared for him.
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  #16  
Old 09-03-2012, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Debbie View Post
Absolutely no disrespect intended, but I think my Dr. would laugh me right out of the office if I brought my teenage son in because he rolls his eyes at me!!!
None of what he does is any different than every other teen out there-I just was wondering if anyone had any specific tips on specific kinds of discipline for this. Totally agree with those who pushed the talking. We do that a lot and he is very open with me. He's just a a normal boy with a lot of hormones and a strong personality who is trying to assert his independence and test the waters!
I just need some new thoughts for when I do have to discipline(not punish) him, like time outs when they were little!
Thanks
I understand what you are saying but i dont agree that all teenagers act the same or that the standard should be set by what other kids do . Disrespect and disobedience are not allowed in our home i dont care what age they are .
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  #17  
Old 09-04-2012, 01:15 PM
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cheeriokeeper cheeriokeeper is offline
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of course you should talk to your teen. that's a given.
but disrespect to mom and dad needs discipline too.

take away ALL privileges. just leave the necessities: clothing, food, shelter, etc.

have him earn these privileges back with respect and responsibility.
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  #18  
Old 09-10-2012, 02:18 PM
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Hello Debbie,

as more you try to punish or pressure him the more he will rebel against you. Question is, what do you want? Do you want a son who your successfully oppress or do you want to have a son how is able to think for himself and can express himself to you? Obviousley at present his is not happy. You are not only his parent you are also his guide - so offer him guidance. First thing to achieve this it to talk to each other as equals. Try to find out what he wants and how he feels. Of course it will be difficult for him to express himself first and it will not work over night. But its worth trying it.
Best way to start this conversation is to get your both out of your house. Chose a neutral ground where you both feel safe and then talk. Take your time, don't pressure he will open up.

Hope this helped

God bless
Joany
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  #19  
Old 01-17-2016, 07:49 PM
blessedlife5 blessedlife5 is offline
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wow, so besides "talk to him" there is no advice for this kind of situation?


(yes, I know this post is old)
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  #20  
Old 01-17-2016, 08:41 PM
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emily445455 emily445455 is offline
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Originally Posted by blessedlife5 View Post
wow, so besides "talk to him" there is no advice for this kind of situation?


(yes, I know this post is old)
Without reading it super close, there were other ideas given. Like change in diet and taking away privileges.
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