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  #1  
Old 03-25-2012, 07:42 PM
coffeemom2
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Default age for spanking?

For those of you who DO spank, how young is too young and how old is too old to spank, in your opinion?
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeemom2 View Post
For those of you who DO spank, how young is too young and how old is too old to spank, in your opinion?
The first time I spanked my son he was probably a little over a year old. It was just a smack on the butt for wiggling too much while trying to change his diaper.

I'm not sure how old is too old...um...maybe 10ish...?
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:58 PM
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Once a child is able to obviously willfully disobey, I will spank. I don't know how old is too old, though. I know seven is not too old! I think it will probably depend on the child.
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:14 AM
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I think both depend on the child. DD1 has always been very obedient until recently. I seriously thought she was my "perfect" child and that I would never need hard discipline until she turned 4. I suspect this won't be the same for all of my children.
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:27 AM
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Well I personally wouldn't use spanking because when they are too little to understand they did something wrong and were just "exploring" then its pointless to spank them then, because they don't know why you are hurting them and once they are old enough to start understanding things then you can just talk to them. Plus spanking IF used should be reserved for HUGE things anyways, not just willfully disobeying.

I would say 4 maybe 5 for spanking and then I would definitely not spank any older than 9.

9 is that age in these days and times where kids start to hit puberty or at least for girls when they start their period but really no later than about 8-9, maybe 10 at the latest.

I am the same size as my mom, if she had tried to spank me when I was a teenager that would have just been weird.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:55 AM
CuzImTheMom CuzImTheMom is offline
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For us (kids are grown now), "real" spankings started around 4. I always told the girls you are too old for spankings when you don't need them anymore. After 10 they were not ruled out but there was often better alternatives.
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Old 03-26-2012, 06:13 AM
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I dont belive in spanking babies ....however a tap and a "no no " on the hand from age 7 months or so i have done .

I think the age it should stop depends on the kid ....if i was spanking my kids still regulary as they get older i would have to say that it isnt working ...but if they are getting spankings few and far between then i would leave the threat of a spanking open into the teen years to a point .

I know some people say that might have gotten their last spanking at 12 ..but then at say 16 they messed up badly and it was decided a spanking would be the punishment ....i think that is how we will play it too .
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:47 AM
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I didn't mean spanking babies with a paddle like you would with a 3 year old. I meant a tap on the diaper or on the hand, like you said.

I wish I had started earlier but I didn't know about Biblical parenting back then. I think children understand far more, far earlier than most moms think. If you wait until age one to discipline, you have waited too long (and I don't necessarily mean spanking).

I think Tedd Tripp says in Shepherding a Child's Heart to spank as soon as the child rebels against your authority, which is usually when they won't stay on the blanket for blanket time or won't stay still when you are changing their diaper.

Last edited by coffeemom2; 03-26-2012 at 10:59 AM.
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Old 03-26-2012, 11:14 AM
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I think under one is too young and that they won't understand. Like Lauren though I've done the light tap on the hand and no-no.

Andrew is almost 7 and I think he is getting too old. I have spanked him maybe a handful of times since he turned 6, all of them at times when he had a bad attitude towards me and didn't fix it after being sent to his room. I don't know if he will get any spankings at age 7 or not. But I feel that around 8-9 is too old. Definitely 10.

My mom spanked me once as a teen, and it was Horrible. I was around 17, and we were the only ones in the room and it was just one swat, but I felt utterly humiliated and degraded. I think it was really damaging to our relationship as well. My relationship with my mom has not been good since I was around 17-18, and looking back now I think it can be traced back to that incident. It wasn't just that - my mom can be very controlling and hard to live with, but I think it was the starting point.
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Old 03-26-2012, 11:17 AM
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Yes, if you start earlier and teach your child that they must obey you the first time, then you won't have a need to spank much after the preschool years.
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