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Old 01-09-2013, 03:39 AM
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Default How do you support from afar?

My parents live about 4hrs drive away from us. They are not that old Dad is nearly 72 and mum turns 70 this year but mum has Parkinsons and Arthritis and dad thinks he is old and acts it. He also has a major hearing problem so having a conversation is very difficult.

My sister and I were trying to convince them about 3 years ago to move here (where we both live and all the grandchildren) and they were considering it until the earthquakes and now I think Dad would not cope.

I have just spent a couple of days up there with the kids. The kids enjoyed themselves we went to the park with them for lunch.

Whenever I go I always feel like I need to do a heap of jobs for them and never get them all done.

I would like to do more for them but it is hard to get up there. Weekends aren't quite long enough and I don't want to get into the habit or it be the expectation we go every holidays.

They are still living in the house they moved into 40 plus years ago which has a largish section. It would be easier especially on mum if they moved to a smaller more modern house but dad doesn't want to (probably because that requires him sorting through the double garage that is full of junk).

This is really I need to get it off my chest post but also is anyone in a similar situation. How do you manage it?
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:51 AM
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Thought I would bump this up for you. I'm even further away from my folks and feel a bit bad about it - we moved away after we'd found out Mum had Alzheimer's and now Dad has bad breathing problems. They have my younger brother back living with them now though - he's still a bachelor. He has a lot of friends and hobbies and seems to still be enjoying life but I don't know if he wants to stay there indefinitely.
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Old 01-21-2013, 10:39 AM
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Although my parents and hubby's parents are in the same age range as yours, they are all [relatively] healthy and living active lives. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice to you.

I do know of someone that has a parent with Parkinson's, but that parent lives with her and that's how they manage the parent's care.
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Old 05-13-2016, 04:55 PM
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Just happened across this thread and thought I'd update things on my parents.

Late last year my mum had a fall and ended up in hospital as a result it was decided that she couldn't go home so she has gone into a rest home. (Fortunately in NZ provided you meet an income/asset threshold that excluded the family home it is almost all govt supported) My dad is still in their home but only just coping. He gets meals on wheels several days a week. So we are in the process of trying to move them both here. My mum will be in a rest home and we will get dad into a villa/unit on the same complex. We have their names down at a place we really like (christian values and close to both our houses) but need to wait for a space.

We need to get their house ready for sale as I said in my earlier post they have lived in this house for 40 plus years and so there is a lot of junk. My sister, our husbands, all our kids and I are going up at the beginning of June when we have a long weekend so we can have a blitz on sorting things out.

My dad accepts that he needs to move but is also very unmotivated to sort and doesn't really realise how little they can take.

Would value some prayer around this.
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Old 05-16-2016, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KRD View Post
Would value some prayer around this.
You got it!

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