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Old 01-03-2015, 04:48 AM
Buttonbear Buttonbear is offline
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Default Raising a boy

If you feel you have any insightful advice about raising a boy, I would greatly appreciate it. I have read some very useful information already, and yet as I look at my preschooler, I feel like I may be heading down the path of failure in developing a good mother-son relationship if I don't make an effort to make this a priority now. I think what I need now is to hear words and encouragement from other parents.

For the men of this forum, if you are willing to share, I would be extremely grateful to hear male perspectives. How would you have liked to be raised? What do you perceive are common things mothers do wrong in raising their boys? What were your experiences that your mothers did right and what they did wrong? What things are so important to you that you want your wife to do or not to do in raising your son if you have boys?
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Old 01-03-2015, 11:04 AM
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emily445455 emily445455 is offline
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How do you feel you are failing him?

I just try to play with him often, usually super heroes, cars, lots of action, fighting, etc. I let him be noisy and active (which isn't a big deal to me, he's been like that since he was a baby, that's all I know, haha). I try to get him and his daddy to spend lots of one-on-one time together.

Women have been raising little boys to become great men for thousands of years. I think we'll do okay!
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Old 01-03-2015, 11:22 AM
Zhenya Zhenya is offline
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Boys like men can be very fragile and insecure in themselves (despite the bravado). I would give him plenty of praise and encouragement, let him know that you're pleased with him, the worst thing for a child to feel is that he can never please his parents no matter how hard he tries.
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Old 01-03-2015, 05:04 PM
Motherof5 Motherof5 is offline
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I raised 4 boys and I can tell you that every one of them was very different. I have good memories of things like earthworms in jean pockets and being ask questions like, " Can I skateboard off the roof?" Boys LOVE to take things apart, even if they can't always get them back together. I have replaced at least 4 alarm clocks that were taken apart just to see how they worked. I've called tow trucks for cars that ended up in the ditch(no one was hurt). I have had to comfort the boy's girlfriends when they said something wrong to them. I've cleaned up more messes that were not mine for a lifetime, financially, spiritually and emotionally. Would I do anything different even though many mistakes were made on both sides? No, because some of those mistakes were learning lessons while others just became funny memories. Just have fun with your son and remember they grow up fast. My boys are now 31,29,27,and 25. Enjoy!
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Old 01-04-2015, 11:00 AM
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lastingfaith lastingfaith is offline
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I wholeheartedly agree with the comments by Zhenya and Motherof5.

Remember its not only girls who have emotions. Boys can also be very emotional, but they usually have greater difficulty in showing it publicly because they interpret it as weakness.

Boys also like experimenting, like Motherof5 has said. Alarm clocks-electronics-engines- you name it. Give him plenty of opportunities to do so in a "safe" environment, and give him access to constructional toys which not only provide something to play with, but will also fuel his inquisitiveness.

Our son is now 33, and a successful electronics engineer with a research and development company in Cambridge. So the experimentation seems to have paid off!
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Old 01-05-2015, 12:09 PM
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Sometime during the past year, my son who is 6 years old started to occasionally "roll his eyes" at me, nothing seriously rebellious, but enough to make me panic a little that we weren't connecting closely anymore.

I could tell early on that he IS fragile and sensitive. Starting from perhaps around 2 years old, his father and grandfather would occasionally tell him to "toughen up since he's a boy" when he cried, got (a small) hurt, etc. As he got older, I could sometimes see him obviously trying to brave everything out and act "tough like a boy" especially within the past 2 years. I can see him stifling his cries sometimes.

I do try to praise him as often as I remember. I often tell him I love him, he's so wonderful, and I'm so proud of him (and I often try to identify why I'm proud so he can relate it to a specific thing). But on the other hand I think I may be too controlling. Maybe that's what's bringing on the eyerolling..... I can't quite remember examples of what I said that made him roll his eyes. I'll have to pay attention next time.

It's a good reminder to see some mistakes as a learning lesson and a great suggestion to see other mistakes as a funny memory for the future. I like that idea! I'll have to keep that in mind next time something happens. That way I will be able to enjoy my son instead of get angry.

What kind of constructional toys would fuel inquisitiveness?

Thanks for all your comments and sharing! I really appreciate it!
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Old 01-05-2015, 04:04 PM
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I am following this thread with great expectation of learning something myself. I have learned over Ford's first year of life that he is completely different from my girls!
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Old 01-06-2015, 08:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by memoriesmama View Post
I am following this thread with great expectation of learning something myself. I have learned over Ford's first year of life that he is completely different from my girls!

I've heard this from many a mama, and my boy & girl are definitely different!
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Old 01-08-2015, 05:09 PM
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lastingfaith lastingfaith is offline
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Buttonbear, you asked what kind of construction toys would fuel inquisitiveness?

I am assuming you live in the USA, so I don't know if you get the same things we find here, but here are a few ideas which come to mind:-

The first is Lego. This is a Danish product, which consists of inter-locking plastic bricks, out of which the child can construct all sorts of models. It comes in 2 versions, a "baby" version for very small children consisting of large easily-handled bricks (I think it is call "Duplo"), and the main-stream standard Lego which has smaller bricks, and is intended for older children.

When I was a child, I spent many hours playing with Meccano. This consisted of metal strips and plates pre-drilled with holes, nuts and bolts to fix them together, and a range of wheels, axles, pulleys, cog-wheels for gearing, and, if you were lucky, an electric motor. Out of all of this, a child could construct vehicles, cranes, buildings, and many different moving models. Its not so popular now as it was in my childhood (the 1950's!!), but I have seen it in the shops fairly recently. Do you have anything similar in the States?

Yesterday, I took a walk around a local toyshop, and saw the following items. They are not necessarily specific to boys and may not all be "constructional" toys in the strict sense, but they are all educational and require some inter-action from the child:

Solar science kit - produces electricity from solar power.
Magnetic kit - allows the child to experiment with the power of magnetic fields.
Battery science - enables the child to construct models using battery power.
Eco-science kit - enables the child to understand the workings of ecology.
Kitchen science - enables the child to learn lessons from ordinary kitchen foods, e.g. making electricity from citrus fruits.
Laboratory Set - provides the child with a limited range of chemicals with which to carry out chemical experiments (safely!).
Wind-powered car. A kit which enables the child to construct a car powered by wind alone.
Motorised Solar System. This is a construction kit which enables the child to build a plastic model of the Solar System, demonstrating how the planets relate to one another.

Most of the above were priced in the 10 - 30 price range here in the UK. I think that would translate into about $16 - $50 in the USA.

I have just also remembered that when our son was young, he had an electronics kit. These come in various shapes and sizes, but usually contain a number of electronic components -transistor, capacitors, resistors, magnets, wiring etc, which enable the child to build a number of different working electrical/electronic devices, such as an electric bell, or rudimentary radio. Our grown-up son is an electronics engineer now, and is currently working on the development of digital radio!

Hope this helps to give you a few ideas. Best wishes, Brian
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  #10  
Old 01-09-2015, 01:09 PM
Buttonbear Buttonbear is offline
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Thanks for taking the time to type out all those great ideas! I will jot them down and take the list with me next time I go to the toy store.
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