We have been attending a church in our neighborhood for the past four years. At first people were very nice. They said things like "Oh, we should get together sometime." But time passed and they never came through. I spent two years trying my best to make some connections and then took a break at the end of this last pregnancy. Now that we are back to it again, I tried to start a homeschool co-op in our church. Lots of people were interested and started to attend until one lady decided she could do a better job. She is going to start her own. Some people are going to that one while others are uncertain and have even considered doing both. They told me before that they like the program that I started but can't decide between the two (since the other lady has been around longer and is more popular I can't blame them.)

I am an introvert so if people have a hard time connecting to me it is because I am reserved, rather than because I have said or done annoying or insulting things (little bit of comfort does that provide). However, I have tried really hard to open up and provide opportunities to get to know others.

It is a rural community so changing church would probably involve moving to another area and buying a new house, though we love this area.

I don't want to be a "church hopper" but what are we to do?

Hello "Mama" and welcome to the forum!

I'm so sorry to hear of this situation, esp. since changing churches would mean a domestic upheaval for you and your family.

It sounds like you've given ample time (4 yrs) to trying to build relationships in your church community. You would not be a "church hopper" in my book.

It's unfortunate that this woman decided to start "her own thing" instead of coming alongside you and offering to help out in the homeschool co-op you started. Now, people have found themselves in-between the two.

I really don't know how to advise you in this situation other than possibly having a private chat with this other woman to let her know how she has made you feel.

May the give you wisdom for this situation.:pray:

I agree with Vanna , four years ! you are not a church hopper .

Like Vanna said , maybe have a chat in private with this women .

Praying for you and your family :praying:

:hug: sorry you have to endure this mtnmama.

i, too, am an introvert...believe it or not! especially in social situations with large amounts of people.
it took me a long time to develop relationships with other women in my church, specifically other moms.

i did that through our church's MOPS group. does your church have one?
perhaps you could suggest to the elders to organize one.
in case you don't know, MOPS=Mothers Of PreSchoolers.

http://www.mops.org/index.php?srctype=menu

everyone in the group will have a common denominator. enough to at least get you talking with other women. :)

oh! and to respond to your initial opening question....

"I don't want to be a "church hopper" but what are we to do?"

does your husband attend church with you? perhaps get together with other couples instead of trying to befriend just the women. sometimes women can be a bit caddy. we know!
maybe something like a bible study at your home. you could have your husband initiate the invites to the other married men.

another idea would be to chat with the elders of the church to get a feel for what is going on in the church.

that's all i got for now.

but i agree with other posters...you are not a church hopper. 4yrs is a good amount of time to proliferate relationships.

IMO if the church is solid in teaching and preaching God's Word, that's the #1 thing. Somethings are preference, this sounds like it may fall under preference....but I don't really know.

IMO if the church is solid in teaching and preaching God's Word, that's the #1 thing. Somethings are preference, this sounds like it may fall under preference....but I don't really know.

yes! teaching and preaching from the Bible is #1, but fellowship and developing good relationships with other Christians is right up there too IMO!

yes! teaching and preaching from the Bible is #1, but fellowship and developing good relationships with other Christians is right up there too IMO!

That is true. I've only attended 2 churches in my adult life...one had neither, and the one I attend now has both. So not sure I can realy help :)

oh! and to respond to your initial opening question....

"I don't want to be a "church hopper" but what are we to do?"

does your husband attend church with you? perhaps get together with other couples instead of trying to befriend just the women. sometimes women can be a bit caddy. we know!
maybe something like a bible study at your home. you could have your husband initiate the invites to the other married men.

another idea would be to chat with the elders of the church to get a feel for what is going on in the church.

that's all i got for now.

but i agree with other posters...you are not a church hopper. 4yrs is a good amount of time to proliferate relationships. These are good suggestions. :yeahthat:

IMO if the church is solid in teaching and preaching God's Word, that's the #1 thing. Somethings are preference, this sounds like it may fall under preference....but I don't really know.

yes! teaching and preaching from the Bible is #1, but fellowship and developing good relationships with other Christians is right up there too IMO!

I agree with both of these statements. If the teaching and preaching is sound, I suggest going to the pastor and talking about your concerns with the lack of fellowship. It is part of his job (as well as preaching) to help the church become "family" and that can only happen through fellowship.

If it was me, I would just close my homeschool group and attend the other. While it might seem as "giving up", in my mind it would be a step towards fellowship (die to self).

If you did decide to leave, I wouldn't consider yourself a "church hopper" after spending four years in a church. We lived here for over a year before we found our church because we just didn't find a church we both agreed on (although there were two churches that we attended for almost 6 months each). Is there not another church within a 1/2 hour drive? I'm sure if you are meant to be somewhere else, God will provide a way for you to be there whether it means moving or just driving a longer time to get there.

I agree with both of these statements. If the teaching and preaching is sound, I suggest going to the pastor and talking about your concerns with the lack of fellowship. It is part of his job (as well as preaching) to help the church become "family" and that can only happen through fellowship.

If it was me, I would just close my homeschool group and attend the other. While it might seem as "giving up", in my mind it would be a step towards fellowship (die to self).

If you did decide to leave, I wouldn't consider yourself a "church hopper" after spending four years in a church.

:yeahthat:

I agree with both of these statements. If the teaching and preaching is sound, I suggest going to the pastor and talking about your concerns with the lack of fellowship. It is part of his job (as well as preaching) to help the church become "family" and that can only happen through fellowship.

If it was me, I would just close my homeschool group and attend the other. While it might seem as "giving up", in my mind it would be a step towards fellowship (die to self)...I want to chime in with agreement on this suggestion, too.