My mom and I are not very close, in fact, she and my (only) sister are much closer than my mom and I. In fact, I feel like she has issues with the ways I raise my boys. As a kid growing up, she was verbally abusive to both my sister and I and this is not something I have forgotten, but I have forgiven her for it.
It just gets hard to have a relationship with her and so frustrating. She is and has always looked for the negative and not the positive. She and my Dad rarely go out and barely talk to their extended family. I just try to keep in mind that they are who they are and I should be very accepting.. and I do try, but always end up feeling not good enough for them! My husband feels awkward around them, and is not very close to them either due to the fact they just aren't very friendly/social at all. I feel bad that it has to be this way..
They have a good relationship with my 2 kids, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my kids realize my parents and I have a somewhat awkward, uncomfortable relationship.
On the other hand, I have a very close relationship with my MIL and have a great time with her. She is also very prayer centered, while my Mom is not. So, I think my Mom is jealous of this relationship as well. But my MIL always makes me feel accepted and we just have fun together!!
My sister also has 2 little girls about my boys age. Since my Mom raised just 2 girls, I know they have so much more to talk about and love getting the girls dressed up, going shopping, etc. I often feel like they just think my boys are so rough and loud...but that's just boys... It is so frustrating to feel like a 3rd wheel w/them.
I guess this was just kind of a venting...

I can somewhat sympathize. While I have a good relationship with my mom, my relationship with my MIL is much like you described. I don't feel comfortable around her and there is often tension (especially when my SIL is around as well). I have learned to just pray that God leads my words and actions before an encounter with her and I often pray during our time together as well. I try to turn my thoughts to prayer for her when I find myself thinking negatively. While I would love to have a better relationship with her, this is just how it is at this point in our lives (it wasn't always like this--we used to have a good relationship) and I just have to keep faith that God will work all things to His good (Romans 8:28).

Wow! I can totally relate! I'm going through similar things (but my mom and I don't speak at all now) Its very difficult.
I'll keep your situation in prayer. Since my struggle started I have come across so many woman with the same "mother" issues.
Prayer is so important. And having someone you can talk to. Many ((HUGS)) to you! :hug:

:praying: and :hug:

Wow! I can totally relate! I'm going through similar things (but my mom and I don't speak at all now) Its very difficult.
I'll keep your situation in prayer. Since my struggle started I have come across so many woman with the same "mother" issues.
Prayer is so important. And having someone you can talk to. Many ((HUGS)) to you! :hug:

I'm sorry you are having similar problems, but I guess now I know I'm not alone. I'll keep your situation in my prayers as well. Thanks so much!

I cant really relate as me and my mother have a great relasionship but me and my father :yikes:............that is another story !!!

I am sorry things are like that and it must be very difficult , i will keep you and Sherry in my prayers :praying:

My mom and I are not very close, in fact, she and my (only) sister are much closer than my mom and I. In fact, I feel like she has issues with the ways I raise my boys. As a kid growing up, she was verbally abusive to both my sister and I and this is not something I have forgotten, but I have forgiven her for it.
It just gets hard to have a relationship with her and so frustrating. She is and has always looked for the negative and not the positive. She and my Dad rarely go out and barely talk to their extended family. I just try to keep in mind that they are who they are and I should be very accepting.. and I do try, but always end up feeling not good enough for them! My husband feels awkward around them, and is not very close to them either due to the fact they just aren't very friendly/social at all. I feel bad that it has to be this way..
They have a good relationship with my 2 kids, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my kids realize my parents and I have a somewhat awkward, uncomfortable relationship.
On the other hand, I have a very close relationship with my MIL and have a great time with her. She is also very prayer centered, while my Mom is not. So, I think my Mom is jealous of this relationship as well. But my MIL always makes me feel accepted and we just have fun together!!
My sister also has 2 little girls about my boys age. Since my Mom raised just 2 girls, I know they have so much more to talk about and love getting the girls dressed up, going shopping, etc. I often feel like they just think my boys are so rough and loud...but that's just boys... It is so frustrating to feel like a 3rd wheel w/them.
I guess this was just kind of a venting...

Hugs to you momma! I am sorry that you are feeling like this. My mother and I have a werid relationship as well. I feel we "get along" better when we are apart from each other! When we spend too much time together we are at each other's throat! GRRRR, I hate that but, my mother is too opinionated and she fails to realize that Rob and I will raise our kids the way we want and she doesn't really have a say!

Thanks for the support! I will pray for you as well...I know how you feel! It is so silly hearing advice on what we should do and what's best, and just being judged indirectly gets so old...

It does get old and I get tired of fighting over the same things but now I am learning to just be quiet! It helps plus I ask the Holy Spirit to help me learn when to speak and when not.

:praying: and :hug:amen!

My mom and I are not very close, in fact, she and my (only) sister are much closer than my mom and I. In fact, I feel like she has issues with the ways I raise my boys. As a kid growing up, she was verbally abusive to both my sister and I and this is not something I have forgotten, but I have forgiven her for it.
It just gets hard to have a relationship with her and so frustrating. She is and has always looked for the negative and not the positive. She and my Dad rarely go out and barely talk to their extended family. I just try to keep in mind that they are who they are and I should be very accepting.. and I do try, but always end up feeling not good enough for them! My husband feels awkward around them, and is not very close to them either due to the fact they just aren't very friendly/social at all. I feel bad that it has to be this way..
They have a good relationship with my 2 kids, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my kids realize my parents and I have a somewhat awkward, uncomfortable relationship.
On the other hand, I have a very close relationship with my MIL and have a great time with her. She is also very prayer centered, while my Mom is not. So, I think my Mom is jealous of this relationship as well. But my MIL always makes me feel accepted and we just have fun together!!
My sister also has 2 little girls about my boys age. Since my Mom raised just 2 girls, I know they have so much more to talk about and love getting the girls dressed up, going shopping, etc. I often feel like they just think my boys are so rough and loud...but that's just boys... It is so frustrating to feel like a 3rd wheel w/them.
I guess this was just kind of a venting...

Well you've just pretty much described my relationship with my mother. She was very verbally abusive to me, my step dad and my step-brother. She also physical abused my step-brother. After moving away from this mess it was very difficult to love my mother or to even have respect for her after what she had done. I never felt like she truly felt sorry or repented for the things that she had done. It's very difficult, even if you forgive someone, to have a close relationship with an unrepentant person. I can say though that after almost 10yrs of trying we are finally getting to a point where we can communicate with one another effectively. It's been a long road. I learned that I had to be honest with my mom regardless of the cost, whether that meant she'd get angry and cuss me out (which was met with a hang on on the other line by me) or even if she would never talk to me again. I realized that unless I was honest with her she would continue to have control over me. My mom is great at making drama. In fact it is as if she feeds off of it. I feel like I had to teach her how to treat me because I was no longer her child anymore I was an adult with my own family. There was even a period of time where my mom disowned me as her daughter. This came as a result of being honest with her about how I felt about her treatment of me and that I wasn't going to accept that treatment anymore period. I had to teach her that drama is not welcomed in my life, my family or my home. If you want a relationship with me then we respect one another and treat each other like adults. If not, then you're not welcomed in my life. I'm thankful that God gave me the courage to respectfully stand up to my mother because now even when I know she's angry there is no more drama. We're still not 100% though and I don't know if we ever will be. My mom still will tell me that she has no clue what she did to make me so angry and hurt all these years. :confused: She still doesn't think how she treated us was really "that bad."

Now my MIL she is great! Thank God for her!

Well you've just pretty much described my relationship with my mother. She was very verbally abusive to me, my step dad and my step-brother. She also physical abused my step-brother. After moving away from this mess it was very difficult to love my mother or to even have respect for her after what she had done. I never felt like she truly felt sorry or repented for the things that she had done. It's very difficult, even if you forgive someone, to have a close relationship with an unrepentant person. I can say though that after almost 10yrs of trying we are finally getting to a point where we can communicate with one another effectively. It's been a long road. I learned that I had to be honest with my mom regardless of the cost, whether that meant she'd get angry and cuss me out (which was met with a hang on on the other line by me) or even if she would never talk to me again. I realized that unless I was honest with her she would continue to have control over me. My mom is great at making drama. In fact it is as if she feeds off of it. I feel like I had to teach her how to treat me because I was no longer her child anymore I was an adult with my own family. There was even a period of time where my mom disowned me as her daughter. This came as a result of being honest with her about how I felt about her treatment of me and that I wasn't going to accept that treatment anymore period. I had to teach her that drama is not welcomed in my life, my family or my home. If you want a relationship with me then we respect one another and treat each other like adults. If not, then you're not welcomed in my life. I'm thankful that God gave me the courage to respectfully stand up to my mother because now even when I know she's angry there is no more drama. We're still not 100% though and I don't know if we ever will be. My mom still will tell me that she has no clue what she did to make me so angry and hurt all these years. :confused: She still doesn't think how she treated us was really "that bad."

Now my MIL she is great! Thank God for her!
Oy, Whit. That was rough goin'. Definitely being honest with your mom was the right thing to do. Sorry to hear of all you had to go through. :hug:

Well you've just pretty much described my relationship with my mother. She was very verbally abusive to me, my step dad and my step-brother. She also physical abused my step-brother. After moving away from this mess it was very difficult to love my mother or to even have respect for her after what she had done. I never felt like she truly felt sorry or repented for the things that she had done. It's very difficult, even if you forgive someone, to have a close relationship with an unrepentant person. I can say though that after almost 10yrs of trying we are finally getting to a point where we can communicate with one another effectively. It's been a long road. I learned that I had to be honest with my mom regardless of the cost, whether that meant she'd get angry and cuss me out (which was met with a hang on on the other line by me) or even if she would never talk to me again. I realized that unless I was honest with her she would continue to have control over me. My mom is great at making drama. In fact it is as if she feeds off of it. I feel like I had to teach her how to treat me because I was no longer her child anymore I was an adult with my own family. There was even a period of time where my mom disowned me as her daughter. This came as a result of being honest with her about how I felt about her treatment of me and that I wasn't going to accept that treatment anymore period. I had to teach her that drama is not welcomed in my life, my family or my home. If you want a relationship with me then we respect one another and treat each other like adults. If not, then you're not welcomed in my life. I'm thankful that God gave me the courage to respectfully stand up to my mother because now even when I know she's angry there is no more drama. We're still not 100% though and I don't know if we ever will be. My mom still will tell me that she has no clue what she did to make me so angry and hurt all these years. :confused: She still doesn't think how she treated us was really "that bad."

Now my MIL she is great! Thank God for her!

:hug: wow that is a lot to deal withy ! I am very sorry that you had to go through that :hug: ...being honest with her is defintely that best way to go :thumbs: