This is the first year i will be without my mom on mother's day. :(

i blogged a bit about it, but it doesn't even touch the surface of how i am feeling. http://mare-z.blogspot.com/

last year around this time, my mom came home from an 18 month stay in Colorado. She stayed with my sister out there after she had a stroke.

so for mother's day, my colorado sister decided to throw her a BBQ at my NY sister's house. they didn't invite me. :( i have no idea why.

but it really stung and the barb went deep. i am still bitter about it. and i don't think i will ever get over it, even though i know in my heart that i must.

i am trying to push all that aside to focus my attention on the present.
my three sons deserve that at least!

it's just so hard to let it go. i miss my mom so much.

I am so sorry Mare and i am sorry that your sister didnt invite you to the BBQ :hug::hug:

I hope that you have a lovely mother's day with your lovely three little guys and i will be keeping you in prayer :praying:

That sounds tough, Mare! :( I will be praying for you. :praying::hug::hug:

That does stink and I am sorry that they did that to you but, you know that you have to let it go as much as it hurts. We don't need anything in our hearts that is going to hinder us from God. You are a great mom and I am sure you are a great daughter.

I know that you miss her so much but, God will grant you the strength. Plus you know that you are going to see her when you get to heaven. SHe will be waiting for you at the door! Hugs momma

That does stink and I am sorry that they did that to you but, you know that you have to let it go as much as it hurts. We don't need anything in our hearts that is going to hinder us from God. You are a great mom and I am sure you are a great daughter.

I know that you miss her so much but, God will grant you the strength. Plus you know that you are going to see her when you get to heaven. SHe will be waiting for you at the door! Hugs momma

i know you are right Pheobe! i know it in my heart! it's just hard.
thanks for the encouraging words all!

It is hard and I am not saying it is not going to take time but, I have been there and I have walked in those shoes and the only person I realized I was hurting was me because the other party was happily living life as if nothing happend.

:hug:

This is the first year i will be without my mom on mother's day. :(

i blogged a bit about it, but it doesn't even touch the surface of how i am feeling. http://mare-z.blogspot.com/

I tried loading your blog and it wouldn't come up.

...last year around this time, my mom came home from an 18 month stay in Colorado. She stayed with my sister out there after she had a stroke.

so for mother's day, my colorado sister decided to throw her a BBQ at my NY sister's house. they didn't invite me. :( i have no idea why. Wow! in NY? That's beyond-rude! Sorry to hear of this. :grouphug:

...but it really stung and the barb went deep. i am still bitter about it. and i don't think i will ever get over it, even though i know in my heart that i must.

i am trying to push all that aside to focus my attention on the present.
my three sons deserve that at least!

it's just so hard to let it go. i miss my mom so much.

How 'bout throwing your own celebration of your mom? It could be something as simple as making something that was her fave and enjoying it with your family or going out to a place she enjoyed -- the sky's the limit (okay, finances too, but you know what I mean). I know of someone who made one of those shadow-box things w/ a mom's favorite things inside. If you're into crafting, that might be another way to "celebrate" her in a tangible way.

My mom is in another country. She said she would visit next Thanksgiving, but during our last phone call she said she might not b/c of some "issues" she's having with my sibilings so I don't know when I'll see her next.

I know of someone who made one of those shadow-box things w/ a mom's favorite things inside. If you're into crafting, that might be another way to "celebrate" her in a tangible way.

My mom is in another country. She said she would visit next Thanksgiving, but during our last phone call she said she might not b/c of some "issues" she's having with my sibilings so I don't know when I'll see her next.

the shadow box idea sounds great! thanks.

sorry your mom is having issues with your siblings...but she should come anyway for you! :hug:

I haven't gotten around to commenting on your blog yet, but I read it and have been praying for you. I pray specifically that God gives you a spirit of joy this mother's day, and also peace. I also pray for mended relationships and a lightness of spirit. You're a great mum to your boys, and a blessing to me through your blog and chatting on the forum with you. :hug:

thanks Lauren! i appreciate your comments!

I hope your Mother's Day is going well. I'm sure it's hard w/o your mom. My mom is in Florida now...so obviously not seeing her. My mother in law is about 3 hours away, so we're not going there. My FIL's gf who is nice to me in person but won't accept my friend request on fb! Before our wedding last month, she told us that Gram (W's Gma whose in the nursing home and wheelchair bound) wasn't with it on Easter and probably wouldn't even know she was at the wedding so we probably shouldn't bring her. We wouldn't hear of it and she was there anyway. Well this morning W find out that EVERYONE else is going to his Uncle's house for mother's day...and gram was coming.
So Mare, I know what it's like to not be invited. @ the same Uncle's house who the day of our wedding told me how much they loved me....
I suppose it's time we live for our kids!:) DH approved something fabulous on my list!!!

Mare, how did it go? I pray that God's peace was upon on that day.

I hope your Mother's Day is going well. I'm sure it's hard w/o your mom. My mom is in Florida now...so obviously not seeing her. My mother in law is about 3 hours away, so we're not going there. My FIL's gf who is nice to me in person but won't accept my friend request on fb! Before our wedding last month, she told us that Gram (W's Gma whose in the nursing home and wheelchair bound) wasn't with it on Easter and probably wouldn't even know she was at the wedding so we probably shouldn't bring her. We wouldn't hear of it and she was there anyway. Well this morning W find out that EVERYONE else is going to his Uncle's house for mother's day...and gram was coming.
So Mare, I know what it's like to not be invited. @ the same Uncle's house who the day of our wedding told me how much they loved me....
I suppose it's time we live for our kids!:) DH approved something fabulous on my list!!!
UGH! crazy! it is time to live for my boys! haha! glad that DH approved something on your list...dare to tell?

Mare, how did it go? I pray that God's peace was upon on that day.

well Pheobe..it was going well until my DH brought it up. he just asked a silly little question..."is this the first mother's day without your mom?" it was innocent enough, and i thought he already knew that, but it brought tears to my eyes. lots of hugs afterward!! then i called each of my sisters and chatted. my one sister was taking it rather hard. i prayed for her.

Hugs to you momma!

Hugs to you momma!

thanks Pheobe!

:hug: Is there anything more comforting then a hug fron your little ones :)

Hugs to you Mare :hug:

thanks Lauren.

i updated my blog again...re mother's day and my aunt's comments...i hope you read it. it was very hurtful. she said that i wasn't as close to my mom as she was to hers. :eek: how could someone say such a thing. :(

http://mare-z.blogspot.com/

thanks Lauren.

i updated my blog again...re mother's day and my aunt's comments...i hope you read it. it was very hurtful. she said that i wasn't as close to my mom as she was to hers. :eek: how could someone say such a thing. :(

http://mare-z.blogspot.com/

I just read your blog post Mare .Wow what a thing to say !! How does anyone know what kind of relasionship a person has with anyone least of all their own mother .

If it would help you then i would say write her a letter and see what she say's , you may want to protect her feeling's but what about your own feeling's ? :hug:

i know Lauren. the dynamic between my aunt and i is strange.
i always felt like i was between her and my mom. they never really got
along. my aunt never really wanted my dad (her brother) to marry my mom.
it's a long story. anyway, my aunt became very bitter towards my mom after my mom married her brother.

so i think her comment stems from that. i think my aunt is the one who wasn't close to my mom. i also think that my aunt cannot fathom anyone loving my mom because of her strong dislike for my mom.

i don't really know for sure.

all i know is that my inner child definitely comes out when i speak with my aunt. it's like i'm 5 yrs old again. :(
i allow her to manipulate the conversation, and just keep my mouth shut.
my aunt has a way of controlling people. and it's very difficult to deal with her when there's conflict.

Mare sometime we have to speak up and let people know how we feel and how they make us feel. Pray about and ask God to give you the words on what to say and how to say it! Most importantly the opportunity to say them.

It's not fair for you to continue to be hurt like this.

hugs momma

thanks Pheobe!

thanks Lauren.

i updated my blog again...re mother's day and my aunt's comments...i hope you read it. it was very hurtful. she said that i wasn't as close to my mom as she was to hers. :eek: how could someone say such a thing. :(

http://mare-z.blogspot.com/


I read your "update on feelings" today and I'm so glad auntie called to apologize. :hug:

I read your "update on feelings" today and I'm so glad auntie called to apologize. :hug:

:praise: yes! here's the update for all...

my aunt who made those hurtful remarks to me about my relationship with my mom actually called me yesterday to appologize!!! what?! i could not believe it myself!

she watched a show on TV about death and relationships with the deceased, and how it can be just as hurtful to lose a loved one if you are with them daily, or not. whoa! was God sending her a message or what!?!

she appologized to me and said she did not think about what she said to me until she saw that show. then she realized how hurtful that might have sounded and that she did not mean it that way at all! she also mentioned how hard it would be to raise three little boys and not be able to share their every day stories or happenings with my mom! i was crying! it touched my heart so much! God is really good! yes indeed!

That is great Mare :)

That is awesome! so glad