The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the
Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to
win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges,
etc., but a weeklong ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike
way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the
end of the week would win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest
between the two candidates to determine the winner.

After much back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest
take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent
out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their
catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At
the end of the first day, John Mc. returned to the starting line and
he had ten fish.

Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was
just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he
would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came
in again with none.

That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said,
'Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want
you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on
him and see just how he is cheating.'

The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid said
to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?'

Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's
cutting holes in the ice.'


Experience Counts

Did you know.......

I didn't know this - Las Vegas Churches
accept gambling chips


THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME
WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS. THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.







THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

Mary, a truck driver, recently decided to get a dog for protection.

As she inspected a likely candidate the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."

"Perfect," Mary thought to herself. "I'll take him."

One day, soon after she had acquired the dog, she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react.

Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding.

As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.

This news just in: All the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition.

A reliable source said many of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure as heck ain't doing the same to Alabama!

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him,
'Lord, we don't Need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing.
In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'.'

'Oh, is that so? Tell me...' replies God.

'Well', says the scientist, 'we can take dirt and form it into the Likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.'

'Well, that's interesting. Show me. '

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

'Oh no, no, no...' interrupts God,
(I love this) ......................



'Get your own dirt.'

OK last one, I Know symphonyodd will appreciate this one.
It is Kids Rock. If you don't like rock music turn the vol. down.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5R8gSgedh4

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him,
'Lord, we don't Need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing.
In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'.'

'Oh, is that so? Tell me...' replies God.

'Well', says the scientist, 'we can take dirt and form it into the Likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.'

'Well, that's interesting. Show me. '

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

'Oh no, no, no...' interrupts God,
(I love this) ......................



'Get your own dirt.'

Yes! - I use this with the "atheism"-religionists, often.

It drives them crazy! :D

Fo dizzle Shizzle yo! You totally have my number BD. :laugh: THis TOTALLY started off my morning the BEST way (laughter.. I LOVE laughter.. my kids were cracking up m m m m m m m m m meal meal). I was CRAAACKING up. That is something my husband would TOTALLY do. I cannot WAIT to play that for my teen (when he wakes up), for my husband.. heck.. later.. that's SO going on my blog. I LOVED it.

Um.. is it bad I know EVERY song? I don't mean the kids songs either. ROFL!!!!!

Again.. that was totally cool.. thank you!

Fo dizzle Shizzle yo! You totally have my number BD. :laugh: THis TOTALLY started off my morning the BEST way (laughter.. I LOVE laughter.. my kids were cracking up m m m m m m m m m meal meal). I was CRAAACKING up. That is something my husband would TOTALLY do. I cannot WAIT to play that for my teen (when he wakes up), for my husband.. heck.. later.. that's SO going on my blog. I LOVED it.

Um.. is it bad I know EVERY song? I don't mean the kids songs either. ROFL!!!!!

Again.. that was totally cool.. thank you!

Don't feel to bad I knew every song too. (except 1 it think)

Anyway I thought you would like that. :thumbs:

Yes! - I use this with the "atheism"-religionists, often.

It drives them crazy! :D

Believe it or not my Aunt, the family Atheist sent it to mom.:icon_confused::whatwacko:


BD.