cheeriokeeper
10-14-2009, 04:40 PM
I need some advice on how to approach a sticky situation.
Here's some background...
My cousin is a Christian, 24yrs old, married twice, divorced once.
She is currently married to a citizen of Turkey. He is in Turkey, she is in PA.
He has to wait 19 more months to get his Visa to the US. My cousin wants to go to be with him in Turkey, but my Aunt (her mom) is convincing my cousin that she shouldn't go.
The thing with my aunt and cousin is this....we lost my grandmother 2 years ago, and my aunt lost her son (my cousin's brother) the year before that. They both still have much grief over these two deaths so close together.
My Aunt understandably does not want my cousin to go to Turkey because of many reasons. One of which is that my cousin is her only living family that lives close by. My aunt is married, but i feel that her marriage is not strong in faith, and is failing because my aunt is such a control freak.
My aunt called me the other night to "talk" to me about the situation. I think she wanted me to call my cousin and convince her to stay here in the US. My aunt was in tears. Crying about everything. Bringing up other things that she hasn't gotten over with her sister (my other aunt)...etc, etc.
So I told my aunt that I cannot and will not convince my cousin NOT to go to be with her husband. Afterall, the bible tells us to "leave and cleave." My aunt proceeded to hang up on me.
My cousin is distraught on what to do. She tells me her life "sucks." Her word. She wants to "get away." I told her what i thought...which is what God tells us to do...go be with her husband if that is what is in her heart and if that is what she feels God wants her to do. She tells me that she has prayed and prayed, but has got no "sign" or answer. She's a mess.
I don't know what else to tell her. I am just praying for her to come to a decision and for clarity in her life.
Her mother has been a dominant person in her life...ALL her life! making decisions for her, telling her what to do, etc. My aunt cannot let go of the apron strings...this is how my aunt was with my grandmother...tied to the hip! SO this is also a case of "generational" sin. UGH!
I'm just at a loss, and feel i should do something, but don't know what.
Here's some background...
My cousin is a Christian, 24yrs old, married twice, divorced once.
She is currently married to a citizen of Turkey. He is in Turkey, she is in PA.
He has to wait 19 more months to get his Visa to the US. My cousin wants to go to be with him in Turkey, but my Aunt (her mom) is convincing my cousin that she shouldn't go.
The thing with my aunt and cousin is this....we lost my grandmother 2 years ago, and my aunt lost her son (my cousin's brother) the year before that. They both still have much grief over these two deaths so close together.
My Aunt understandably does not want my cousin to go to Turkey because of many reasons. One of which is that my cousin is her only living family that lives close by. My aunt is married, but i feel that her marriage is not strong in faith, and is failing because my aunt is such a control freak.
My aunt called me the other night to "talk" to me about the situation. I think she wanted me to call my cousin and convince her to stay here in the US. My aunt was in tears. Crying about everything. Bringing up other things that she hasn't gotten over with her sister (my other aunt)...etc, etc.
So I told my aunt that I cannot and will not convince my cousin NOT to go to be with her husband. Afterall, the bible tells us to "leave and cleave." My aunt proceeded to hang up on me.
My cousin is distraught on what to do. She tells me her life "sucks." Her word. She wants to "get away." I told her what i thought...which is what God tells us to do...go be with her husband if that is what is in her heart and if that is what she feels God wants her to do. She tells me that she has prayed and prayed, but has got no "sign" or answer. She's a mess.
I don't know what else to tell her. I am just praying for her to come to a decision and for clarity in her life.
Her mother has been a dominant person in her life...ALL her life! making decisions for her, telling her what to do, etc. My aunt cannot let go of the apron strings...this is how my aunt was with my grandmother...tied to the hip! SO this is also a case of "generational" sin. UGH!
I'm just at a loss, and feel i should do something, but don't know what.